Such A Time...

Life in general has, to me, become quite hectic and nerve-wracking, peaceful and happy, all at the same time. Is it not strange, one could say, that this sort of happening occur, not only to myself but really to anyone?

I do not comprehend how life can be so versatile, so eclectic in its aspects and dimensions, nor do I pretend now to understand the mysterious movements of God throughout the framework. I know that He has been constantly present among the intermingling of events and has guided me along the entire way. Yet, still, it is only "after the fact" that I can see His "footprint" or mark, at least in many of the situations and instances.

Why, after so many years, do I not see this evidence earlier? Have I not had the background and teaching that enables one to see? One fact that I am quite aware of now is that I cannot and will not know many things, will not understand the "how" and the "why" of life. It is not for me to wrap my meager mind around such complexities as relationships, how these play in relation to one another, or how they will develop over time.

To believe such a thing to be possible for any person is proud, and utterly ridiculous. I am but a creation, a nothing loved into existence by the supreme power, authority, and judge of all things and people; our Triune God, the Trinity, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. None can stand against this most beautiful and majestic, most awesome and compassionate, most just and constant Lord.

This journey is one of which I am, of course, an integral part, at least in relation to my own soul. My patron Saint, Francis of Sales, says that it is quite important to minister to others, but it is vital that we take care of our own soul. Naturally, as he intends to point out, we must be in a state of grace, at peace with God, if we are to effectively bring others to Him.

Hectic... my life has been so because I am enrolled in seven classes at John Paul the Great Catholic University. I have the responsibility not only to excel in these classes, but also to discern what I will do with my life after classes end, upon graduation. I talked with a very good friend about this recently, and I realize that I must begin building myself up in ways that transcend the classroom, through real-world application and the garnering of experience. Such a huge question can have a nerve-wracking effect upon a young lad such as myself. It is as if to say, "OK, now look back on your life, consider what God has given you, where you've been, and what you've done. Good... now, pick the correct path." I know that God will lead me and guide me, but this decision will take up quite a portion of my mental-mulling time. In this way, the looming task of deciding what direction my life will finally take is a fine way to make my life seem... hectic.

Peaceful... because of the ever-present opportunity to pray, and the abundant grace that has been poured out upon me to assist me in the follow-through on inclinations to do so regularly. Not through my own merit can I say that I have prayed more; rather, I attribute this to the prayers of my acquaintances and friends, including my family especially and a few close friends, as well as the Church Triumphant. The happiness comes as a result of the graces that I have received and continue to receive, though I deserve none of it.

For those of you that do not know, I began dating a wonderful Catholic young woman a little over a month ago, and God's gift to me in her is truly inexplicable. I would like to beg anyone who does not know her to pray for her and her family, and anyone who does know her to continue praying for her and her family. Additionally, of course, I would like all people to pray for my family and I... I am praying for all of you.

Is all of this strange? Is it strange that I feel so many different things, seemingly conflicting things, at the same time? I assert that it is not so very strange... or at least rare. Everyone goes through these sorts of situations, each different but similar on some level. It reminds me of a saying that has been coming up often in my life lately; "God never gives you more than you can handle."

I would like to leave you with a passage from Matthew 6: 25-34...

"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you shall eat or what you shall drink, nor about your body, what you shall put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add one cubit to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin; yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O men of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, `What shall we eat?' or `What shall we drink?' or `What shall we wear?' For the Gentiles seek all these things; and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things shall be yours as well. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Let the day's own trouble be sufficient for the day."